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Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is completely free though not public domain. I hereby declare I have no right at all to stop anyone from posting this text if I ever lose the ability or desire to post it by myself. The only thing I require is that I be allowed to institute a bureaucratic and over-blown process for maintaining this essentially simple document, and that you all bow down and pay homage at the altar of my question-and-answering supremacy. Gaze upon my FAQ ye mighty and despair! This FAQ may be redistributed in its entirety in any form on any medium, except fish sticks. Or jelly.

  • 1 Availability of Starship Titanic.

    • 1.1. Is it here yet?

    • 1.2. Is it here yet?

    • 1.3. Is it here yet?

    • 1.4. So where can I get it?

    • 1.5. In what formats is it available?

    • 1.6. Does it work on Windows 98?

    • 1.7. Does it work on NT?

    • 1.7.1 Does it work on XP?

    • 1.8. Do you have a Macintosh version?

    • 1.9. Is there a demo I can download?

  • 2. Technical Requirements for Starship Titanic.

    • 2.1. What machines will it run on?

    • 2.2. Will it work with my video card?

    • 2.3. Will it work without a sound card?

    • 2.4. Will it run in 256 colour screen modes?

    • 2.5. Do I really need a Pentium-class processor?

    • 2.6. How much hard disc space do I need?

    • 2.7. Can I install it to the root directory of my hard drive?

    • 2.8. Do I need a joystick?

  • 3. Starship Titanic Gameplay questions.

    • 3.1. Does this FAQ contain any spoilers?

    • 3.2. Will reading the novel spoil the game?

    • 3.3. What is the point of the game?

    • 3.4. What are the gameplayer's primary objectives?

    • 3.5. What are the gameplayer's secondary objectives?

    • 3.6. How are these objectives achieved?

    • 3.7. What if I get stuck?

    • 3.8. Can I ever get completely stuck?

    • 3.9. Can I save the game?

    • 3.10. What is Byzantine Numismatics?

  • 4. Web site questions.

    • 4.1. Why did I get that email message?

    • 4.2. Why is there only one 'L' in small?

    • 4.3. How do I stop any more email messages?

    • 4.4. I meant, how do I stop being sent Starlight Lines messages?

    • 4.5. Why do you need my email address again to stop sending me email messages again?

    • 4.6. Why do you spell authorisation with an 'S'?

  • 5. The Starlight Lines Intranet.

    • 5.1. What is the Starlight Lines Intranet?

    • 5.2. Is the Starlight Lines Intranet a joke?

    • 5.3. Did Dave "Steve" Stevedave really lose his job?

    • 5.4. Was it my fault?

    • 5.5. Am I really going to be arrested?

    • 5.6. I'm asking the questions.

    • 5.7. Isn't it?

  • 6. General.

    • 6.1. How do you eat three cream crackers in a minute?

    • 6.2. Why is the sky blue, mummy?

    • 6.3. How are you, Sean?

    • 6.4. Don't you guys ever go home?

    • 6.5. Where are my keys?

    • 6.6. What are the 39 Steps?

  • 2. Technical Requirements for Starship Titanic.

    • 2.1. What machines will it run on?

    • Either (a) Minimum 100MHz Pentium-class processor, 133MHz or greater recommended.
      16 MB RAM
      160 MB available hard disk space
      16-bit colour capable video card (100% compatible with DirectX(R) 5.0)
      16-bit sound cards (100% compatible with DirectX(R) 5.0)
      4X speed CD-ROM drive

      Or (b) 120MHz PowerPC Mac (180MHz recommended) running MacOS 7.5 or later
      32Mb RAM
      Display capable of at least 640 by 480 in thousands of colours
      160 MB available hard disk space
      4X speed CD-ROM drive
      4x CD-ROM drive

    • 2.2. Will it work with my video card?

    • ST has been tested with a wide range of graphics cards, and has only failed to run on the following card(s):
      • Hercules Stingray 128/3D
      This information is subject to change pending subsequent release of new drivers.

      Note that there was a problem with some video cards causing ST to quit back to the desktop almost immediately, sometimes displaying a warning dialog about DirectX - see patches for details.

    • 2.3. Will it work without a sound card?

    • No. The sound is an essential part of the game, and ST will refuse to run without sound support as described in 2.1.

    • 2.4. Will it run in 256 colour screen modes?

    • No. To ensure the best possible graphics quality, ST requires a 16 bit display. The game will refuse to run if your system does not support 16 bit screen displays.

    • 2.5. Do I really need a Pentium-class/PowerPC processor?

    • Yes. Starship Titanic makes serious demands on the processor. A lower-spec machine would offer reduced performance and hence seriously compromise gameplay. The game refuses to install on a machine with a 486/68K processor or lower.

      Note that there was a problem with Cyrix 6x86 processors - see patches for details.

    • 2.6. How much hard disc space do I need?

    • 160Mbytes is the minimum installation. This figure was chosen to reduce the amount of CD swapping during gameplay. Choosing the medium installation (500Mbytes (PC), 550Mbyte(Mac)) further reduces the need to swap CDs, while full install (1.3G) eliminates the necessity altogether.


      Note that there was a problem with Medium installs of the Mac version - see patches for details.

    • 2.7. Can I install it to the root directory of my hard drive?

    • No. That is a very silly thing to do.

    • 2.8. Do I need a joystick?

    • No. Starship Titanic uses a point-and-click-and-type interface.

  • 3. Starship Titanic Gameplay questions.

    • 3.1. Does this FAQ contain any spoilers?

    • No. If you want spoilers, see the Strategy Guide.

    • 3.2. Will reading the novel spoil the game?

    • Douglas writes:
      "Hardly at all! Well, it's the same basic situation, but the book is no guide to the game or vice versa."

    • 3.3. What is the point of the game?

    • To make you laugh.

    • 3.4. What are the gameplayer's primary objectives?

    • To board the Starship Titanic, upgrade to 1st class, repair the ship and return to earth.

    • 3.5. What are the gameplayer's secondary objectives?

    • To discover the sequence of events that caused the ship to crash in the first place.

    • 3.6. How are these objectives achieved?

    • By engaging the 'bots in conversation, and solving logic puzzles.

    • 3.7. What if I get stuck?

    • Summon a bot and ask for help.

    • 3.8. Can I ever get completely stuck?

    • No - that wouldn't be much fun. Nothing you do will prevent you from completing the game. If you're stuck with a particular puzzle, you can often leave it, and move on to something else - or ask one of the characters for help. If you lose something, you can always find it again. We promise :-)

    • 3.9. Can I save the game?

    • Yes - but you can't die in the game, so you don't need to worry about saving the game before experimenting. Saved games are approx. 100K - quite small enough to be emailed, if you fancy showing off to other ST players having solved a particular puzzle.

    • 3.10. What is Byzantine Numismatics?

    • Ask the Parrot!

  • 4. Web site questions.

    • 4.1. Why did I get that email message?

    • You, or someone close to you, or someone not at all close to you that you've never met, or someone you met, invited to your place if they were ever in the area, but have long since forgotten, filled your email address in the box on http://www.starshiptitanic.com/smalform.html

    • 4.2. Why is there only one 'L' in "smalform"?

    • Because the kids need new shoes.

    • 4.3. How do I stop any more email messages?

    • Unplug your computer. Please consult your hardware vendor for details.

    • 4.4. I meant, how do I stop being sent Starlight Lines messages?

    • Send a message from the same account that you're receiving them at, with 'Remove' as the first word of the subject line. Or the first word of the message body. Or both.

    • 4.5. Why do you need my email address again to stop sending me email messages again?

    • Take a wild guess.

    • 4.6. Why do you spell authorisation with an 'S'?

    • For your Comfort And Safety.

  • 5. The Starlight Lines Intranet.

    • 5.1. What is the Starlight Lines Intranet?

    • It's the employee-only Intranet of Star-Struct LLC, the subsidiary of Starlight Lines Corp., which built the fabulous Starship Titanic. Until recently it was closed to the public but now, thanks to the gracious benevolence of its creators, it can be thoroughly browsed by any old pleb at http://www.starlightlines.com.

    • 5.2. Is the Starlight Lines Intranet a joke?

    • We hope not - we spent hours on it. It's very easy to say that, but spare a thought for the men, women and reborzos who gave their pelts for the construction of these finely-crafted html pages.

    • 5.3. Did Dave "Steve" Stevedave really lose his job?

    • No.

    • 5.4. Was it my fault?

    • Yes.

    • 5.5. Am I really going to be arrested?

    • I don't know - what did you do?

    • 5.6. I'm asking the questions.

    • That's not a question.

    • 5.7. Isn't it?

    • No.

  • 6. General.

    • 6.1. How do you eat three cream crackers in a minute?

    • Chew them with your molars, avoiding use of your tongue, thereby overcoming the problem of premature dehydration.

    • 6.2. Why is the sky blue, mummy?

    • Ask your father.

    • 6.3. How are you, Sean?

    • Get out of my office and let me do some work.

    • 6.4. Don't you guys ever go home?

    • See 6.3.

    • 6.5. Where are my keys?

    • Where you left them last.

    • 6.6. What are the 39 Steps?

    • The thirty-nine steps is a netwoaagghhhhhh.....

 


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