Liftbot G. 'Nobby' Nobbington-Froat guides us through the do's and don'ts
in the SGT class chat room.
"As any of you wot was military men will know, Rules is Rules, and it is my sworn duty to
appraise your good selfs of the correct behaviour in the Super Galactic Traveller quarters
and mess hall. And, I need 'ardly hadd, if any of you wossnames steps out of line, I'll
have you up on a charge quicker than they obfuscated all the long-handled hairbrushes after
that business with the Roedean 3rd Light Auxilliary Horse-Riding Reserves, if you follow my
drift. So, without further ado, because you never want further ado - oh, no. That was
what caused old Blimper Goodchimes all that trouble when he was our temporary assistant
part-time trainee stand-in tea-boy when we was fighting the henemy at the Battle of Reborzo
Hill. "Blimper," I says, as a class F 'screamer' missile plunged into our fighting pit
which was only 4 foot by wossname, "the last thing we need is further ado." And without
further ado, poor old Blimper sustained a direct hit from the screamer, which I need 'ardly
point out to you military men, was an hincendiary device, and it reduces poor Blimper
almost instantly into a pile of ash, most of which fell into the regimental teapot he had
just put down at his feet. Still, waste not, want not, we always said, and as we remarked
during our next hofficial break period, the one thing you could say about Blimper was, he
made a lovely cup of tea. But I'm gettin' ahead of meself. Without further ado, here are
- Rule 1 is on a 'need-to-know' basis.
- Rule 2 is still being drafted.
- Rule 3 is on a charge, on account of its giving the C.O. too much lip.
- Passengers must not interfere with the regimental goat.
- Passengers with an authorised medical report of Asgon's Tregeriasis will be excused
- The use of watermelons is deprecated."